The Joy Killer

Do you want to know the number one thing that will suck the happiness right out of you?

Comparison.

We live in a society that is more covetous than ever, and social media plays a huge part in the dissatisfaction. People live way above their means to keep up with the Jones' and work jobs they hate to keep them afloat. What would happen if we started worrying more about what our unique God-given purpose was, instead of our neighbors new car or our high school friend's latest vacation? 

The reality is that comparing yourself to anyone else is wrong. Whether it be someone's house, job, body or vacation, the truth is that even if you had it, you would just want the next thing that came around. There is nothing in this world that can truly satisfy besides the plan that God has for you. He is not holding back any good thing from us, his plans are better than we can even imagine! 

Maybe you are not the envious type, but instead you look down on other people. This is just as bad as wishing you had the things that others did. You are still comparing yourself. 

When we compare, we are robbing ourselves. If you are envious of others it is pointless because God wants to give you the desires of your heart. There is no need to want what others have. On the flip side there is also danger in thinking that we are better than other people because then we are not holding ourselves to God's standard, we are holding ourselves to the standard of those around us. 

Just to give you an example, it might seem silly, but it will help you get the point. I am really picky about what I feed my kids. I check labels and buy almost everything organic. The last couple years when I was teaching and saw what most kids pack for their school lunches I was horrified. I couldn't believe how bad these kids were eating. It was all processed "food" and full of sugar. I started to get a little slack about the amount of sugar my kids were eating because "it wasn't as bad as most kids." This was having a negative effect on them because I was not holding them to a higher standard, I was just comparing their eating habits to every other kid. It was wrong. I am by no means perfect when it comes to their diet, but I no longer compare what they eat to other kids. I do what is best for them without worrying about what other people do.

For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. 2 Corinthians 10:12

When we think we are better than other people it takes away the drive and desire to grow. It lowers our standards.

There is nothing more freeing than letting go of the need to be like anyone else. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is Jesus. He is our standard, nothing else. He wants to give you a life that is better than you ever dreamed of, but the first step is to stop comparing and start answering his call!

XXOO

Feed My Sheep

A couple of years ago, my husband and I were going through some tough financial times. Things were really tight, but I knew that this state we were in was not God's will. His will is for us to prosper. We are his own special people, and all of the blessings of Deuteronomy 28 belong to us through Jesus. I remember one day I was praying, seeking guidance and I clearly hear Him tell me, "It is not your job to take care of yourself, that is My job. Your job is to take care of others." This set me free!

It is so easy for many of us to say that we love God, and that we are followers of Jesus, yet we fail to do the things he has commanded us. The perfect example is found in John 21 when Jesus supernaturally provided Peter with a net full of fish after a night of catching absolutely nothing. Later in the chapter Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him. Peter says yes three times and each time Jesus responds saying, "then feed my sheep." Jesus provided for Peter so that he could provide for others.

Faith without works is dead. Saying that we love God means that we need to follow his commandments. He does not bless us and provide for us only to make us comfortable and happy, he provides so that we can "feed his sheep." So many Christians begin to tap in to all the wonderful benefits of the cross, but then they do nothing for the One who gave them all of those things.

If we just enjoy all the benefits of the cross and then keep it all for ourselves then we are selfish.

The way that Jesus asked Peter to prove his love is the same way we are supposed to prove our love. God takes care of us, we take care of others.

What exactly does it mean to "feed his sheep?"

It is our responsibility to serve others in any way we can. This could mean literally feeding people, it could also mean feeding them spiritually by encouraging, coaching, or ministering or praying for them. If you have nobody you can "feed" then you can give of your finances to ministers you trust, who are currently spreading the gospel and doing work of the kingdom. There is always something you can do.

We need to live a life of service. After all, Jesus took our place and suffered all the punishment so that we could live a life of health, peace and prosperity, the least we can do is dedicate our lives to his kingdom!

Every day when we wake up we should be asking God what we can do for him today. Always be open to respond to the call when he needs you. Live a life of giving and service towards others, even if they don't deserve it. Remember, you didn't deserve it either and Jesus did it for you!

Since Dustin and I have made the decision to serve others with our resources we have seen more blessing on our lives than ever before. I encourage you to push yourself out of your comfort zone and watch what God does in your life, you will not regret it!

Dear Wives with Selfish Husbands,

At some point or another all of us wives, myself included are guilty of getting mad at our husbands for being selfish.

"I am home all day with the kids, making all the meals, doing all the shopping and then he has the nerve to leave me here anyway and go watch the game with a friend."

or

"I never get any time to do the things that I want to do, yet he wants to go play (insert sport here) and he doesn't even ask me."

or

"I work all day too, yet I am the one who has to come home and cook, clean, pay bills. So selfish."

After spending some time being miserable I realized that while indeed husbands can be selfish from time to time, I am also guilty. It is not his fault that I don't get time to myself. It is my own fault for not saying I need time to myself, and actually taking the time. He is always happy to let me have some free time. More than my selfishness or his, there is a bigger issue at hand. It's a heart issue.

Part of a good relationship is sacrifice.

When Jesus died for us we were nothing but lost, selfish, little jerks, yet because he loved us he gave up everything for our freedom. As Christians we are supposed to die to ourselves and live for him first, and sometimes this means sacrifice. He suffered being beaten, humiliated, betrayed and killed and yet we complain because our husbands don't appreciate us? "It's just not fair" we say. Well it wasn't fair that Jesus died for a bunch of sins he didn't commit, either. Life is not fair, and the sooner we realize it the happier we will be. I understand that being a mom and wife can be hard work, but we are supposed to do all our work to the Lord, not to men. He will repay us, just as Jesus was repaid for his sacrifice and now is seated at the right hand of the Father!!

I encourage you to remember that we are called to something BIG, but it starts in our home. Serve your family with joy, hang in there on the hard days, and love your "selfish" husbands.

I have decided to love you, and I am not changing my mind.

I remember the weeks leading up to my wedding and the excitement that I felt. I couldn't wait to say "I do" to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There was not a doubt in my mind that he was the one for me, the one that could give me my happily ever after.

We are now getting close to celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary and we have experienced lots of things together. Loss of loved ones, birth of our babies, sleepless nights, financial ups and downs and everything in between. Through all of it there have been times when the happily ever after didn't feel so happy. There have been times when I didn't feel the butterflies and gushy emotions, but when I decided to love my husband, it was forever, not based on a feeling.

There are all kinds of emotions attached to love, but love is not an emotion it is a decision. You can't "fall out of love." You can decide to stop loving someone, but love is not a mysterious, fickle little feeling that comes and goes.

As Christians we are called to love. If we can't love our own husband or wife unconditionally then how are we going to be effective at loving anyone else? On November 8, 2009 my husband and I made the commitment to love each other until death do us part. There was no disclaimer. I am not going to change my mind. If we are going to love like Jesus loved us then we can't attach our love to the actions of our spouse. It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do to me, if Jesus loved and died for us while we were yet sinners, then I have the power to love my husband no matter what.

Imagine how different our world would be if our love for others was not based on conditions? There is great power in knowing that it is my choice to wake up every day and love my husband. We live in a world where people allow their emotions to control their decisions when it should be the exact opposite. Do you think Jesus allowed his emotions to control his decision to die on the cross for us? We know that his emotions tried to gain control over him because the bible tells us of the distress he suffered in the garden before he was killed.

"Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me." He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:38-39)

The bible makes it very clear that emotionally Jesus did not want to die. He was struggling, but he submitted himself to the Father so that His will could be done. If Jesus did it, we can do it too. We can overcome our emotions and make the decision to do what is right regardless of how we feel.

We need to start making the right decisions and demanding our emotions submit to those decisions, just as Jesus did. There is a great blessing attached to unconditional love. I can testify from seeing this work in my own life. My husband and I get closer all the time and we are able to overcome any obstacle because of the decision to love each other unconditionally.

I challenge you to try this! Whether it be your spouse, your boss, a difficult family member or a stranger, make the decision to walk in love and be blessed!

Actions speak louder than words.... or do they?

We have all heard the phrase "actions speak louder than words." Usually people use this little one liner when they are trying to see if someone is who they say they are, and it's not usually in a positive context. It is correct in a sense, but the bible says that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." This means that whatever is in your heart is going to come out of your mouth. You can be sure that if you said something, it was first in your heart.

Have you ever had moments where you look back and thought "wow, did I really say that, it was so mean!?"

I have.

Some of the things that have come out of my mouth still bother me to this day. I am so thankful to be covered in the blood of Jesus so that I don't have to feel shame or guilt. Instead now I plant more beautiful things into my heart so that the words that come out are pure and lovely. I still say stupid things sometimes, but God knows my heart and every day I am growing. Thank God for grace!

Your words are seeds, and you can be sure that whatever you spit out will bury itself in the ground and grow.

Do you gossip? If you do then you are sewing seeds of envy and strife which the bible says leads to confusion and EVERY evil work (James 3:16.) Do you want your seeds to grow into plants of every evil work? Me neither, try using glue stick instead of chapstick, maybe it will help ;) Not really, but maybe some of us would be better off doing a little less talking. Instead, try and see people as God sees them, makes it hard to find anything bad to say.

Are you negative? Do you continuously have something negative to say about every situation? When you speak negative words it is because you have a negative heart. You have a negative heart because you do not have faith, you do not have faith because you have not renewed your mind through God's Word. Discovering who you are in Christ will make you the most positive person on the planet! How can we not be positive when the Creator of the universe has given you all His power through Jesus?! Everything good on this earth is ours through Him, yet very few see the fruit in their lives because they only plant negative seeds with their mouths. Read God's words, speak God's words, you will get God's results.

My husband and I have seen so many wonderful things happen in our marriage because we have refused to speak negatively towards each other. Anyone who knows us can tell you that while we might have an occasional disagreement, we don't have a habit of speaking negative words to each other. Neither of us have ever once brought up the "D" (divorce) word and have never called each other names. We don't point out each other's faults in order to try to prove a point, and we have both learned that it is better not to discuss anything if we are angry. This takes self control, especially for you, ladies! I can tell you though, it works! In marriage there is so much pressure to "communicate" that often people end up only communicating the negative things that won't bring any life into their marriage. Make a commitment to only say positive things to and about your spouse and you will reap a harvest of wedded bliss.

If you want to see good fruit grow in your life then you need to speak words that will bring a good harvest. God is waiting to pour out his blessings on you, but most of us block all the blessing by speaking negative words that don't agree with God's Word. Start speaking God's Words, and you will start getting God's results!

I challenge you to take this week to think before you speak, and choose words of love and life!
XOXO

Love is Blind

"You're so pretty mommy," said my two year old little boy as he smashed my face between his little boyish hands. I hadn't showered, no makeup, hair looking crazy. "Love is blind, my sweet little boy," I told him. He ran off playing and left me pondering all things about love.

I wish I could be more like him. He doesn't judge my bad mommy moments, he doesn't care if I am still in my pajamas at noon, he only sees the good in me. He knows I feed him when he is hungry, kiss his boo boos when he falls, and love him with my whole heart. There is a reason the bible says that unless we are like a little child we will not enter the kingdom of heaven. We adults make everything so complicated. Jesus said to love, not to judge our brothers, and forgive those who do us wrong.

What if we stopped seeing all the flaws in our spouses and insisted on only recognizing the good things about them? What if we ignored that rude thing they said, and gave it to God instead? What if we praised them for the things that they are doing right, instead of nag them for their short comings? What if we stopped trying to control them, and started giving God the reigns?

What if we stopped complaining about how our kids are so difficult and started noticing the amazing little people they are growing up to be? What if we started realizing their God-given abilities and encouraged them to discover more? What if we prayed more, yelled less? What if we spent more time training them up in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it?

What if?

We would be more like Jesus.

Jesus has a blind love for us. In Christ, the bible says that we are a new creation, which means we are righteous, holy and perfect. That is what He sees. He died for all the sin, it is wiped away. He sees all of our good qualities and he encourages us in those. His Word guides us and shows us a mirror image of who we are in him so that we are no longer interested in returning to our former ways.

Does this mean that we live in a fantasy world of unicorns and butterflies and refuse to see any problems? No, but it means that because of His unconditional love, we are free to love others with the same kind of blind love.

"By this all will know that you are my disciples, that you have love for one another." John 13:35

Did you know that most people feel like they are unlovable? If there was one good thing about an overall problematic person and you were to find it, and point it out, do you know what that would do for them? It would empower them. It would make them want to be better. That is what Jesus does with us.

I challenge you to try it. Think of the most difficult person in your life and start focusing on their positive traits. Acknowledge the good things about them, mix it with prayer, and let God do the work on their hearts. If you can't think of anyone, do it on yourself. Stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself, focus on the things you like, read the Word to discover who you are in Christ, and let God turn you into the man or woman he made you to be!

I would love to hear your Love is Blind moments! Take the challenge and share your testimonies in the comments!

XXOO

Why I Plan to Shelter My Children

Lately I have been shocked and disturbed when I read the headlines and see the moral decline of our society as a whole. I don't like the world that my children will grow up in. I realize that if I want them to have a good life and make an impact on this world my job as a parent is more important than ever.

When we talk about sheltering our children, people get visuals of weird cult like communes with people who dress like they live in the early 1900's. That is not what I am talking about. I firmly believe that we as Christians are the light of the world and we must go out into the world in order for that light to shine, BUT...in due time. We can't throw our kids out to the wolves with no expectation of what they will encounter or how to deal with it when they do. 

Public schools are now introducing sex education to children as young as 4th grade. This is not just regular sex education, but graphic, pornographic images along with information on masturbation, abortion, how to use condoms, and the differences between oral, anal and vaginal sex. These are not subjects I want my children to learn from a curriculum void of moral values. The new common core curriculum eliminates anything relating to creation and teaches everything based off the theory of evolution. I don't want to have to spend hours when they get home undoing all the wrong information they have gotten at school. These reasons, among many other things are why my children will not attend public school.

If children don't have a solid foundation of truth, grounded and rooted in the Word of God, they will not be able to withstand the pressures of this life. We don't have very many years with them to establish this foundation and I don't want to waste time by allowing their minds to be filled with the agenda of the federal government, which is what the common core curriculum is. Not only do they get it from school, but through the use of the internet on their personal electronics, TV, and music. If their negative input is more than they positive input you are going to have a problem. It is that simple. 

I love country music, it has always been my favorite, but lately I can't even let my kids listen to it! It used to be about God and Country and now it's all about getting drunk and sleeping around! It is not exactly cute when you hear your kid singing a lyric about a hangover. 

Sheltering my children will allow them to establish a sure foundation so that they can go out into the world and accomplish all God has for them. Without a foundation, they will crumble and be tossed every which way like the waves in the sea. 

As an adult I am finding it necessary to shelter myself! My husband laughs at me because every time a scary commercial comes on TV I cover my eyes and ears and look the other way. I know that might seem ridiculous, but when I was younger I used to love scary movies and over time I started to struggle with fear. It crept in and started setting up camp in many areas of my life. I had to stop any entrance of fear and scary movies were one of those entrances. I live a sheltered life compared to many people my age but guess what? I am happy, I am confident, I have good relationships, I don't get depressed or anxious, I am excited for my future, and I am free. If living a sheltered life doesn't work then don't wake me up because it's working for me!

Does this mean you remove yourself from the world? No. As Christians we are in this world, but we are not of this world. We are called to be salt and light to those around us (Matthew 5;13-16.) We should be a blessing wherever we go, we should help people find freedom in their lives, we should be opening ourselves up to be used by God. We should be influencing, not being influenced. This is not only what I want for myself, but what I want for my children.

What about you? Do you feel the need to get back to basics with your kids in our ever changing society?

I would love to hear from YOU! 

XXOO