When the fit hits the shan.

I believe there are certain rules when it comes to discipline and step parenting. I know that being a step parent to older children is a totally different ball game, but getting into the child's life at a younger age brings different challenges. When the kids are older (as I was when my mom remarried) the step parent is more of a friend and not so much like a "parent." In my opinion that is the way it should be because the children already have a "mom" and "dad" that they answer to and do not need a new person coming in trying to change that. I don't believe it is ok for the step parent to do the disciplining in this case. When someone is dating a person with older children, they need to decide before thinking about marriage if they can handle the way things are without coming in and trying to change everything.

What about with younger ones? In this case the struggles are not going to be with the child because they will never remember a time without you. I have no issues getting my step daughter to listen to me (actually sometimes she listens to me better than her father, hehe.) The relationship with a step child should be a strong one before you think about any sort of discipline. Of course every family has their own ways of disciplining their child and while I may give my daughter Hazel a smack on the hand or butt, I am not going to do that with Breanna. Why? Well it is a personal thing. My husband wouldn't do it either, and we are able to get results from putting her in her room or taking away a privilege. I have to admit, I am really lucky to have such a well behaved step child. Don't get me wrong, she has her moments where she tries to be the boss, but we get her in check real quick. Until I was comfortable with Breanna's and my relationship I would play tattle tale to daddy to get her to listen, but now we have a mutual respect for each other and she knows I mean business.