Becoming a mom is the most life changing experience any woman can go through. You find out things about yourself that you never knew. We all have a different story, a different experience, different opinions, and different situations, but the one consistent thing is the desire to give our children the best. This is my story, and why staying home with my children was the best decision I ever made.
When Dustin and I met, I had a very well paying job with room for growth, my own apartment, no credit card debt and a great credit score. I enjoyed my freedom and independence, but I always knew that I would want to raise my own kids, and not send them to daycare. After we got married, and got knocked up with baby number one, Dustin and I both agreed that it would be best for me to stay home with the baby. I made more money than he did, so this was a big deal, people!
The first year was hard. Lots of sacrifices, some credit card debt, and a big adjustment to our lifestyle. I often hear women say "I can't afford to quit my job, we wouldn't be able to pay our bills." I am a living testament that you can do it. If you have one income, that is enough. We have never lost a car, our home, or not been able to feed our children. Yes, my credit score suffered on some default credit card payments.Yes, there were (and still are) months that really test my faith, but I will pick my kid over the money any day of the week.
Let's break down the hours in the work day to get some perspective.
Let's say you get 7 hours of sleep (haha, I don't even remember what 7 solid hours feels like)
Work including commute/dropping off and picking up from daycare, 9 hours (I am being generous here because I think it is prob more like 10 or 11)
Getting yourself and children ready, 2 hours
Preparing and eating meals, 2 hours
That is 20 hours when you add it all up.
Children go to bed several hours before their parents (usually) so after it is all said and done you get to spend 2 hours a day with your child.
There are 120 hours in a work week and you are spending 10 of those hours with that little person who might not be able to express it in words, but wants to spend all 120 with you. It breaks my heart.
I am not trying to condemn anyone, but I want to tell you that you are missing out. Missing a lot of firsts, and a lot of lasts. The worst part is that not only are you missing out, but your child is missing out. Their loss is worse than yours. There is nothing more that a child wants than your time. Nothing. You can make lots of money at your job, trying to "better their future" but it is a waste. The best investment you can make in their future is your time. They just want you. They need you. No day care worker, parent or friend can love and take care of them like you can.
I am not trying to say that if you have children you should not work. I have a part time job. Very part time, about 5 hours a week, but my home is the first priority, and if it suffers, I would quit in a heart beat. My husband stays with the kids, and if he is on shift my mom will watch them (thanks Mom!) I think it is important to have an outlet, and a career is great, but I can guarantee you that when I am breathing my last breath I will not have any regrets about putting a career on hold to raise my children.
I will not regret spending my mornings drinking coffee trying to have a moment of sanity while they destroy my living room. I will not regret the funny, silly conversations in the car. I will not regret being home for them when they get back from school. I will not regret seeing all their "firsts" and the millions of pictures I have snapped on my phone. I will not remember the financial sacrifices, and I will not regret a short season of a bad credit score. You only get one chance to mold them into the person they will be the rest of their lives, don't waste it.
I have had people tell me "You are so lucky you get to stay at home with your kids." I will tell you that luck has nothing to do with it. All it took was decision and determination to make it work. I wear it as a badge of honor that I work hard for, no luck involved.
There will be a time when the kids are gone, and I will have all the time in the world for a career and it will be wonderful! For now they need me, and because of that, there is nowhere else I would rather be <3
xxoo
“The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.” Matthew 9:38