Since Apparently Suicide is No Longer Selfish

If you are anywhere in the social media world, you have probably already seen the heartbreaking story of the 29 year old woman who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and moved to Oregon where she could  use the death with dignity laws to kill herself. Yes, I said kill herself. I didn't say "end her life" or "choose how she left this earth" because all those phrases sugar coat what she actually did and that is commit suicide. 

Let me first say that when I read her story it made me really sad to see someone so hopeless. I can't imagine being in such a dark place. She killed herself to avoid pain and suffering that she never needed to suffer. Jesus died for her healing, both physical and emotional. Christian or not, cancer can be cured naturally, many people have done it, but that is for another day, and not where I am trying to go with this post.  

I opened my Facebook app the other morning after she had reportedly gone through with her plans, and I could not believe people's responses. People calling her brave, calling her a hero, and praising her for her suicide. What the heck is going on with this world? When did suicide go from being sad and selfish  to becoming an act of heroism? My main question to the people calling her brave is this... Since apparently everyone has decided that we can play God, when exactly is it acceptable to kill yourself? 

Maybe you say "Well if you are in pain and suffering then you should be able to decide how you go."

Okay, then I ask you this, does this only pertain to physical pain, or does emotional pain count also?

Maybe your response is "Well if you are a drug addict or alcoholic and kill yourself then you are selfish because addiction is the wrong path to take in life, this girl didn't choose to get cancer."

No she didn't choose cancer, but drug addicts most of time inherit their addictive behaviors from their genetics, or they grew up with a horrible life and suffer intense emotional pain. Who are you to judge?

Here is my point people. If you have ever called a suicide selfish or wrong, but have taken a stand that it isn't wrong this time, then you are a hypocrite. At least be consistent here and say that you no longer think suicide is ever selfish because whether or not the pain be physical or emotional, it is pain and they should be allowed to end it. Fine, I can accept that answer. While I completely disagree with every ounce of it, I can still respect the fact that you aren't a hypocrite. 

There is hope. God created you, he has a plan for you, but he won't force it. If you decide to kill yourself, he isn't going to stop you. He gave you a free will, freely choose Him, freely choose life.

XXOO

Faith and Finances

They say financial hardship is the biggest strain on a marriage, and after all the junk Dustin and I have been through in this area, I can confidently say that we can make it through anything. In the past five years of our marriage we have had two babies, paid a lawyer for two separate custody cases for Bre, started a business, sold that business, meanwhile maintaining the regular expenses of home ownership, two cars and a boat. We have been very independent during all of this and somehow managed to maintain a good relationship with each other. We have made sacrifices so that I could stay home with our kids and I would not trade the time I have had with them for anything in the world. I would do it a million times over again. 

This past summer all of that financial strain caught up to us. It seemed no matter how much overtime he worked, we could not keep up. We got dangerously behind on our mortgage, and didn't know how to climb our way out of that hole. Thanks to a gracious family member, we were able to borrow the money to catch up on our mortgage, which Dustin is now working off. 

Man, that hurts the pride. Nobody wants to admit defeat and have to borrow money. It was honestly the lowest of lows for us financially. I am thankful now looking back that we are out of that phase and moving into the next WAY better one, which is what I am excited to write about. 

I look around at a lot of people our age with kids, and see that there are a lot of similar problems with finances. Everyone seems to be struggling. This should not be the case, especially for those of us who are believers! The word says,

"And my God will supply all your need according to His riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19

"Well I am a believer and my needs are not met, so what is going on?"

Every situation is different, but I think our story will help you write yours. Every promise in the bible is done only according to faith. We spent all this time stressing and worrying and working way harder than we should, only to stay behind. That is not faith! I would have said I believed the word, but my ACTIONS were proving otherwise. Not only that, but we were expecting a harvest that we hadn't planted. 

The first thing we started doing was get consistent in our giving.

It has brought us out of our comfort zone for sure, but you can't expect a harvest when you don't CONSISTENTLY plant seeds. 

"Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running overwill be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

The very first day that we "planted some seeds", we had our AC guy come out to fix our AC and he didn't charge us a penny. We knew from that point on that there was no turning back.

Next, we made a plan!

Our goal is to be completely debt free (including our house) in 10 years or less. Part of that plan is that we will NEVER borrow money again. No credit cards, no family members, nothing. We will be the lender, not the borrower. We are using a debt snowball plan, and lowered as many of our bills as we possibly could, and got rid of the stuff we could live without. Through a literal miracle, my husband traded in his boat (which was broken down) for a brand new one that is being custom built, with a warranty, for a way less interest rate than the last one, without being upside down, and significantly cheaper monthly payments! That was God's favor and blessing in an inexplicable way, that stuff doesn't just happen to people!

God has blessed me in my work. I am able to spend very few hours away from my kids, doing something I absolutely LOVE, with more students than I can even take, really! My dance classes have waiting lists! There is not another job on the planet that could be more perfect for me in this season of life. I am soooo thankful for God's favor. 

I realize now that other than giving, and making a plan that you will stick with, the third and most important key to all of this is trusting. 

Trusting that God meant what He said when he promised to take care of our needs, it is that simple. Just this past month, we had money come to us that we were not expecting, that put food on our table and gas in our car. We have done all that we can, in our power, and we know that God already promised to do the rest. There has been so much freedom in letting go of the worry, and watching how God provides. There is a reason that the bible says "fear not" 365 times, one for every day of the year!

I encourage you to take these steps with us. Give consistently, make a plan (and stick with it) and most importantly, let go so that God can do the rest!! 

XXOO

Dropping the F Bomb in My Prayers

Yep, you read that title correctly. I indeed drop the F bomb when I pray. Actually, Jesus said to do it so I am only obeying his commands. He said....

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

The F bomb I speak of is forgive. In this chapter Jesus commands us to forgive others, it is not a suggestion. If he died and suffered for us while we were still rotten, dirty sinners, then we would be nothing but hypocrites to hold someone's offenses against them. If we want to be like Jesus, we have to forgive people, even if they are still doing us wrong.

"How do I do this? I don't feel like I forgive this person at all. Actually, they get on my very last nerve, constantly."

We must do it the same way we do anything in our spiritual life, by faith. Just say, "Father, I know my feelings do not line up with what I am about to say, but because you said to do it, I know my feelings will have to follow, I forgive _____. I hold nothing against them, and I give them to you. Help my feelings line up with your will."

"Why is this important?"

Unforgiveness is not something that will hurt the person you are bitter towards, they don't realize they are wrong. Holding a grudge will only hurt you. It will destroy you from the inside out. The bitterness will eventually take over your whole life, ruin all your relationships, and open the door for all kinds of bad stuff to start happening. If you are a Christian, it also makes you a hypocrite because how can we receive God's grace to forgive us our sins if we aren't forgiving others for theirs?

Forgiveness means you put God's word above your own pride. This is something that is very hard to do because we all have "really good reasons" why we are right and the other person is wrong. The reality is that we have to die to ourselves in order to live the life God called us to, and forgiveness is just the beginning of that surrender.

I have learned that when I start feeling angry and unforgiving, I have to stop and just pray it off. I don't even let it take up space in my thoughts. It takes discipline, but the bible says to take every thought captive, and with enough practice, it gets easier and easier.

The result of forgiveness is beautiful. You give God the problem you can't fix yourself, and in exchange you get peace and a quiet mind.

So start dropping those F bombs, y'all!

:) XXOO

3 Foods to Never Give Your Kids for School Lunches (and the healthier alternative!)

With school starting for us tomorrow, I wanted to share my sentiments about school lunches. I look at every meal as an opportunity to give my kids something nutritious that will benefit their bodies, not just fill them up. I am shocked that kids these days even survive considering how unhealthy they eat. Here are a few of my horror meals that no person should ever consume, especially a growing child!

1. Lunchables. There is so little actual food in these things that you would literally be better off not eating and sparing yourself from the chemicals, preservatives, and GMO's. Here are the ingredients in the plain old turkey, cheese and cracker lunchable. I have highlighted the harmful ingredients in red:

Ingredients: ROAST WHITE TURKEY – CURED, SMOKE FLAVOR ADDED: WHITE TURKEY, WATER, POTASSIUM LACTATE, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF SALT, DEXTROSE, CARRAGEENAN, SODIUM PHOSPHATES, SODIUM DIACETATE, SODIUM ASCORBATE, SMOKE FLAVOR, SODIUM NITRITE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR. PASTEURIZED PREPARED CHEDDAR CHEESE PRODUCE: MILK, WHEY, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, MILKFAT, SODIUM CITRATE, SALT, LACTIC ACID, SORBIC ACID AS A PRESERVATIVE, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA (COLOR), ANNATTO (COLOR), CHEESE CULTURE, ENZYMES, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, WITH STARCH ADDED FOR SLICE SEPARATION. CONTAINS: MILK, WHEAT CRACKERS: ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2],FOLIC ACID), SOYBEAN OIL, WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED COTTONSEED OIL, SALT, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA, CALCIUM PHOSPHATE), WHEY (FROM MILK), SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER). CONTAINS: WHEAT, MILK, SOY.

A good alternative? Roll up some Boar's Head nitrite-free turkey breast and Organic Valley cheese, throw in some Annie's Cheddar Bunnies. Real food, what a concept!

2.Smucker's Uncrustables. I guess this is the processed food industry's idea of a PB&J. Once again, I have highlighted the harmful ingredients which are preservatives, chemicals or GMO's. There is so little food, and so much poison that once again they would be better off skipping a meal.

BREAD: ENRICHED UNBLEACHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, MALTED BARLEY FLOUR, NIACIN, FERROUS SULFATE, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID), WATER, UNBLEACHED WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, SOYBEAN OIL, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: SALT, YEAST, DOUGH CONDITIONERS (DISTILLED MONOGLYCERIDES, DATEM, ENZYMES [WITH AMYLASE, LIPASE, ASCORBIC ACID, CALCIUM PEROXIDE, AZODICARBONAMIDE, WHEATSTARCH]).  PEANUT BUTTER: PEANUTS, DEXTROSE, SUGAR, MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS (SOYBEAN AND/OR COTTONSEED AND/OR RAPESEED), SALT, MOLASSES.  GRAPE JELLY: GRAPE JUICE, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: PECTIN, CITRIC ACID, POTASSIUM SORBATE (PRESERVATIVE).

A good alternative? Almond butter and organic jelly sandwich on Ezekial Sprouted Grain bread! So easy and super healthy! Ezekial bread can be found in the frozen section of the grocery store.

3.Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. New York times did an article on Kraft mac and cheese and there are two warnings that every parent should be aware of before they feed this to their child:

Warning #1: This Product May Cause Adverse Effects On Activity And Attention In Children (This warning label is required because The US version of Kraft Mac & Cheese has artificial food dyes yellow #5 and yellow #6 which are proven to be linked to hyperactivity in children.)

Warning #2: GMO Declaration: Made from genetically modified wheat. (May contain GMO) (This warning label is required because the US version of Kraft Mac & Cheese contains GMOs.)

A good alternative? Annie's makes a large variety of macaroni and cheese for only a few cents more. You will completely avoid the GMO's and food dyes by going this route.

Some other healthy lunch options:

A small salad with dressing on the side

Left overs! I often cook extra the night before so I can send the left overs in a thermos

Amy's Organic Spinach Pizza-- Bre loves this pizza and its good at room temp if there is no microwave. 

Carrots or cucumbers and dip, string cheese and crackers.

Peanut butter and raw honey sandwiches

Fresh berries, organic yogurt, granola

Breakfast for lunch! Cut up some pancakes and send a side of Grade B pure maple syrup

Organic chicken noodle soup in a thermos with a side of crackers

What about you, moms? What healthy lunches do you pack for your little ones at school?

It Is Okay to be a Size 0

I read a beautiful article the other day about how we should talk to our daughters about their bodies. The message was simple, don't talk about it. Don't let their body define who they are or how they see others. I loved it. The focus should be on being healthy, not on looking a certain way. There is such a big movement of women trying to send the message that it doesn't matter what size you are, and if you are overweight it is okay, often even applauded. I have to rant here, so I apologize in advance. 

I read an article today, in a popular magazine, about a clothing company who is adding a size XXXS to their line. The writer was disgusted and angry that they would dare have such a ridiculous size available. Seriously? You are mad because there was a demand for smaller sizes? Up in arms because there are small people who would like to buy clothes!? How dare they!!

Come on people. I have always been a small person, yes I even wear a size 0, and I am sick of people trying to make me feel bad about it. I grew up constantly being told I was "skinny." After hearing it all the time, I began to think that there was something wrong with me and I needed to gain weight in order to be "normal." It gave me an awareness of my body that I didn't need at that young of an age. I certainly don't want my daughters to have to worry about all that. I want them to focus on the inside, and the outside will flourish as a result.

Discriminating against a body size, big or small.... is wrong. 

Ladies, love your body by taking care of it, eating healthy and exercising. Please, let's stop with the discrimination....on both sides. 

XXOO

What Every Teacher Wishes They Could Say to Parents

With a new school year quickly approaching, I wanted to share some things that I believe every teacher would want a parent to know. So often there is a parent vs. teacher mentality that is unproductive and frustrating for both sides. Here is a little perspective from the teacher side of the fence.....

Dear Parent,

Lovely to meet you, thank you for trusting me with your child. I am so excited for this new year, but also just as nervous as your little (or not so little) one. As we begin this journey through the year, you should know a little bit about me. It takes more than just a quick visit at Open House to know what is most important.

I want you to know that I spend lots of time thinking of ways I can teach your child a new thing. I lay in bed at night trying to come up with ideas that will make them laugh. I research the best ways to impact your child for the rest of their life. This is not just my job, it's my passion. I often wonder if I am truly making a difference in these little lives. Will they remember me as one of their favorite teachers? Will they love the subject I teach them more than anything else? Nothing is more rewarding than seeing them change and progress over the course of the year. It makes me so proud of what I do.

I want to make you happy, parent. Your approval means the world to me. I want you to be blown away at how much your child has changed this year. In a year, five or even ten years I want to hear all about how they are doing. I want you to know how much I care. I love your child, and I want them to love me too. If I had to, I would give my life for them, as many teachers have in the past.

I wish you would tell me when you think I am doing a good job, and not just leave communication for issues that arise. I see you over there chatting with the other parents, I wonder what you are saying? Are you talking about all the things you love about me, or are you complaining that it isn't good enough?

I hope you know that I will always do my very best. There will be times I fail, and I ask for your grace to forgive me. I only want the best. Lets work together, not against each other.

Here is to a great new school year!

Blessings,
Teacher

Greater Love

The other day I read an article focusing on the idea that people who take a bunch of "selfies" actually have some sort of mental disorder. I don't know if there is any truth to that, but one definite truth is the fact that people in our society are becoming increasingly more self centered and narcissistic. Taking selfies constantly is just a symptom of that, not the problem.

People are so obsessed with themselves, but instead of becoming obsessed with making themselves better spiritually, and emotionally they get stuck on the physical and blame everyone else when their life is falling apart.  While we can't control other people, and we can't control bad things happening, we CAN control our reactions to those things. If you let your emotions run your life, you will always be a victim. Are you spending more time improving your physical body and taking selfies, than you are on your spiritual and emotional health? If so, you probably often feel defeated and sad. 

God created us with a need for love. If you are a human being you need to be loved, but the ultimate love can only come from getting to know Him. Most people don't know how much God loves them so instead of seeking Him, they turn to other things to fill up that spot. Drugs, alcohol and the need for lots of "likes" on their selfies, are just a few of those ways. The "Jesus love you" saying is something we all have gotten used to hearing, but it does not impact very many people, because they don't understand it. 

There is not much better of a sound than hearing your child laugh uncontrollably. I love hearing the hard, belly laughs of my kids, and even my husband. I love hearing the people I love, laugh. That is how God feels about you. He loves it when you laugh uncontrollably. He doesn't care if you have done all the worst things a human can do, He doesn't care if you have never entered a church in your whole life. He doesn't care if you know nothing about the bible or have ever read a single bible verse.You could be the best Christian around or an Atheist, it doesn't matter. His love won't ever change for you, no matter what you do or don't do. He died for you. 

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends."

John 15:13

What would happen if we replaced the time that we spent working on our physical bodies, and spent half that time learning how much God loves us? I challenge you to give it a try, it will change your life :)