Not Meant to be Tamed

In the last almost 5 years that Dustin and I have been married, I can count on less than one hand the amount of fights we have gotten into. Ask anyone who knows us well, they will tell you. We have never gone to bed angry, and while we might have disagreements from time to time, we always resolve them very quickly way before they escalate to a fight. Ok, ok well actually we do fight, A LOT..... Play fighting of course, it is a lot more fun than real fighting, hehe. Anyway.... why do we get along so well? It is because we don't try to control each other!! Very simple, but very eye opening, and letting go could save your marriage!

When God created human beings he gave us a free will. We are not made to be controlled by anyone, not even Him. The only person we need to control is ourselves.

A lot of couples could save their marriages if they realized this one thing. You can't control your spouse! God did not create them to be controlled, and that includes using manipulation. Manipulation is a form of control, because it uses tactics to force someone to do something you want them to do. This usually comes as some form of "punishment" for not getting what you want. For example, "I am just not going to talk to him" or "He is not sleeping in the bed until..." or "I am not going to have sex if he is not going to..." I could go on all day with examples, but I think you get my point. If you are doing any of those things, I would encourage you to stop because God cannot be involved in helping your marriage if you try to control your man. 

God knew when He created us that we would grow to resent Him and be angry with Him if he controlled us, and since He loves us, He wants us to FREELY choose Him!

Let your spouse freely choose you. I have done this with Dustin and he chooses me over everyone. TOGETHER we are able to have conversations about anything, we got baptized last Sunday TOGETHER, and we don't make any major decisions about our kids without EACH OTHER! If you love someone, let them go, right?? No! You should never trap them in the first place! Let them choose to be there. Pray for them instead of controlling them, and watch how your relationship grows!

xxoo

Life as a Firefighter's Wife: Finding Consistency in the Chaos

The lifestyle of being a firefighters wife, with two little kids, a part time teaching gig, and a step daughter who is home every other week, is similar to the feeling of living out of a suitcase. I can't even begin to discuss the logistical chaos that my day to day life entails.

I was feeling overwhelmed tonight as I finished my last load of dishes at 10pm, after a long day of non-stop crazy. I thought about it and quickly realized my life is nothing like most people's. I sometimes envy wives who get to spend every night with their husband, and have their help with the kids. I wonder what it is like to have your husband sleeping beside you every night. Being a firefighters wife sometimes feels like being a single mom. I knew when I married this man that his profession would keep him away every third night, I also knew that by marrying him I was also marrying his little girl. Crazy schedules are all we have to work with around here. Fast forward some years, and a couple kids later and I now find myself trying to figure out how to cope with a lifestyle that is anything but normal.

I like routine. I like order and organization. I like consistency. I think all of us thrive when we have all of these things. So how do you thrive when you don't have all of these things? Well I can tell you that this life is not for everyone. Marriage is hard enough on it's own! Dustin and I have come up with a few things to do that keep our life consistent, even in the chaos.

1. Regularly scheduled date nights. It is not a luxury around here, it is a necessity. I have had a lot of friends tell me they can't afford to do date nights. That is only because it isn't a priority to them. We budget money for date nights and if the money isn't there, we find creative ways to get out, and spend less. Last night we went and played pool and darts. I think we spent a total of $30. If you want to keep your marriage happy, you have to be consistent about dating your spouse.

2. Dinnertime. We eat a meal I have cooked, at the table, together as a family. This may seem simple, but in our crazy society of constantly being on the go, many people don't even cook! It is very important to Dustin and me that our kids eat healthy, and also that we have that time together at the end of our day. So many problems in families could be fixed if they just ate dinner together.

2. Bedtime. We are very consistent about bedtime. Our kids are in bed by 8:30 on a regular basis. We have started the routine of reading them a couple stories from the bible every night before bed. We do this together as a family, and not only do they learn something important, but we get the quality time with them.

3. Chores. The girls both have a list of tasks they are supposed to accomplish every day. They have become routine for them, and most of the time I don't even have to ask them to get it done! This teaches them responsibility and their role in the family, and also helps with tasks around the house!


These are just a few ideas, I certainly hope to add many more things to help create a stable and consistent environment in our home. I would love to hear from you! Any firefighter's wives out there? Give me your ideas!

Stop drinking chemicals: 2 Ways to Filter Your Water on a Budget

 

We all know by now that the food we eat directly effects our health but is diet everything? Nope. Diet is a HUGE part of being healthy, but what most people don't realize is that when you put something on your skin, it goes right into your bloodstream! Think about the products you apply to your body every day. What about your kids? The lotions, sunscreens, shampoo, etc... All of those ingredients enter their developing bodies. Many of those ingredients are known carcinogens.

Aside from personal care products, think about the water they are drinking and bathing in. Most cities dump all kinds of stuff into the water in order to make it "safe" when in fact those chemicals are harmful to your health. If you are on a budget like we are, chances are you can't go spend thousands on a fancy filtration system. Instead, here are two things you can do to minimize your exposure to harmful chemicals in city water.

1. Neutralize bath water and add stuff that will be beneficial for the skin to absorb. City water is full of chlorine, and many of us are mineral deficient. An easy solution to both of these problems is to make a bath salt mixture with epsom salts and lots of citrus essential oils. Dump at least a cup in the kids bath and let it sit for a couple minutes before you put them in. Himalayan pink salt, apple cider vinegar, and bentonite clay are also great for your skin and make wonderful additives in a bath. If you can't afford a fancy filtration system, give this a try!

2. Drink properly filtered water. My first choice for drinking water filtration would be a Berkey water filter, but the budget is not allowing that just yet. After lots of research, the best filter I could find, at an affordable cost, was a Tapmaster Jr F2. It filters almost all the chemicals, and about 93% of the fluoride. I got ours on Amazon for $99 and the replacement filters are $29.95 every 3 months. 

By following these two guidelines you will eliminate most of the harmful chemicals in the water from entering your children's bodies! 

I would love to hear from you! What kind of water filtration systems work best for you?

Oh Darlings, don't you ever grow up

It is days like today that I never ever want to forget. There are days when I feel like I have absolutely lost my mind and am the worst mom in the history of moms. Then there are days like today that I just love every second of mommyhood.

I hope I never forget how excited Hazel was to put on her new ballet leotard, and take her first ballet class, with mommy as her teacher, of course. How hard she tried to do her spins perfectly, and how happy she was that she learned to plie. How she requested beans and rice for dinner, then fell asleep on the couch. Nothing life changing happened today, but I have absolutely everything that anyone could ever hope for. A healthy little girl who lights up my whole world.

Then there is the boy. I don't ever want to forget how he came speed walking up to me with stretched out arms when I came to pick him up. He was so happy to see me, and as soon as I got there he was pointing at snacks saying "this." I hope I never forget how much he likes food and snacks. How he already goes in the snack cabinet and picks out what he wants. How he scrunches his little nose when he is whining or trying to be cute. I can't imagine life without that little fat fat.

Today is gone, tomorrow they will be a little older, and a little closer to being big kids who no longer want mommy to "hold you." I want to soak up every second. I want them to remember a happy mom who spent time playing with them, holding them, snuggling them, dancing with them, laughing with them, and mostly loving them.

Lord, please help me be the mom you want me to be. I don't want to waste a single day. Amen.

When natural parenting has gone too far....

If you look in my kitchen cabinets right now you will find that about 90% of my stuff is organic. Once you start learning how much our food is contaminated there is no turning back. I literally cannot bring myself to buy things that I once enjoyed eating. A lot of people think we are crazy. When I say "we" I mean all the crunchy moms of the world who would be horrified if they saw their kid eating McDonalds or a hot dog. The problem is that once you have woken up to the reality of what has happened to the food supply in this country it is easy to become fearful. Fear is never good motivation for doing anything, especially when raising your kids.

I have realized that even if you don't vaccinate your kids, feed them all organic food, cloth diaper, and breast feed, there are still many ways that they are exposed to chemicals and toxins outside of your control. It is easy to become so caught up in the natural and organic world that it becomes an unhealthy obsession. For example, if you can't go to someones house for dinner because you are worried they won't cook a healthy meal, you might have a problem. If you can't go out to dinner once in a while because all the ingredients on the menu are not certified organic, gluten, soy, and dairy free, you might have a problem. You laugh, but I actually know people like this! This is a life of fear, and while we do our absolute best at home, we are not going to let our health choices prevent us from enjoying life.

With that said, I am still astonished how willfully ignorant many people still are about nutrition. Food decides whether you are healthy or not. Disease and cancer feed off sugar, processed foods and GMOs. The science is there to prove it! 

God gave you one body. Just one. Be responsible, not fearful.

xxoo

Social media, TV, and Complaining? Take your time back!

Every day should be intentional. Every conversation should be intentional. When you wake up in the morning, you should do so with purpose. Make life happen, don't let it just happen to you.

I know we all have days that we get up and just go through the motions, but what if we paid more attention to what we spend our time doing? Over the last few weeks I have been picking apart my days to see where I put my time. I was shocked how much time I was wasting doing things that in no way improved my life or the lives of my husband or children. Instead of spending quality time with my hubby, I was busy on Facebook, instead of cleaning my house I was watching The Bachelor, or instead of speaking positive words, I was complaining. Yikes, I don't have it as together as I thought I did!

Social media isn't bad, but if it is replacing actual human interaction then you might need to cut back...Enough said.

I am not much of a TV person, but in the past my guilty pleasure was watching The Bachelor. I knew it was a waste of brain cells and time, but I did it anyway.After realizing I was wasting 2 hours a week watching something that was not adding value to my life, but was actually just filling my mind with garbage, I decided to stop watching My husband was not sad about that choice either, let me tell you. Basically, if your kids couldn't sit there and watch it with you, you probably shouldn't watch it at all. That might sound extreme, but it really isn't hard. There are lots of interesting shows that are not promoting the degradation of our society, just give it a shot.

Do you consider yourself to be a positive person? Do you see the good in people or situations or are you constantly focused on the negative? I believe negative people need to have something to complain about. They will look at people or situations and pick them apart until they can find something negative, and with enough research you can find negatives in everything. Let me just set you free right now with this challenge. Stop. Just stop. Be intentional about it. When you have conversations, don't complain. Even if you have the best reason ever, just don't. I challenge you to go a week intentionally thinking about everything you are saying. While you may be tempted to whine just a little, don't give in!! I guarantee it will change your life! I understand we all need to vent once in a while, but if you are not sincerely looking for a solution, then even venting is a waste of time. The bible constantly talks about words and how they are life and death. Speak life. Complaining is not life. Complaining is self centered. Every person on the planet has things they could complain about, it doesn't make you special. Every time you feel the need to complain or vent, speak something positive. Give a stranger a compliment, tell your kids how much you love them, encourage your husband and thank him for being such a great provider. Whatever you need to do. I promise you, these words will change your life!

As I go through my days being more intentional I am finding myself to be much more productive, and I have also cleared the way for God to do some exciting things in my life and heart. I challenge you, take control of your life and don't give back the reigns!

4 date night ideas to bring passion back into your marriage!

Dustin and I are going to celebrate 5 years married this year, I can't believe it has already been that long! Time flies when you have a sleep over with your best friend every night!

In our years together we have already seen friends and family members get married, then divorced. It is a bummer. One of the things that contributes to our marital bliss is DATE NIGHT! We love all of our children dearly, but if we don't have a solid relationship with each other, we cannot be the parents we are supposed to be. God first, then each other, then our kids.

I know some mommies and daddies who have kids, and that becomes their entire life. Don't get me wrong, I live for those littles, and I spend the majority of my time with them, but their daddy comes first. He is my other half, my kids will eventually grow up and leave me (tear) and we will be left with just each other!

Getting out and having fun without kids is key to staying connected and keeping the passion alive. Dustin and I like going out to dinner, but dinner is not always FUN, you need to have fun with your spouse. Do you remember what made you fall in love with him? One of the main things I loved about Dustin was that he liked to do stuff, not just sit around and do nothing all day. Here are some ideas to help bring the passion back into your marriage:

1. Get competitive. There is something fun and flirtatious about talking a big game to your significant other. Bring that good tension back into your marriage! We have been paint balling, bowling, putt putting, go carting, and a bunch of other competitive stuff. I destroy him in putt putt by the way, and I don't let him forget it.

2. Get out of town. Yep. Even if its just for a few hours! It is amazing what happens when you roll down the windows, turn up the music and leave all your troubles back home. One of the best nights Dustin and I had was on our anniversary this past year. We drove to the coast with hardly any money, had a couple drinks, listened to a band, walked the beach, and had the best time ever. We both left feeling refreshed and happy. A night neither of us will ever forget.

3. Try new things. Just because you might have a favorite restaurant doesn't mean you should always go there. You go on a date night to get away from routine, not to get stuck in a new one! Try new restaurants, check out new little towns, go somewhere you haven't been since you started dating. It will help you remember all the reasons you fell in love in the first place.

4. Plan it. I hate to tell you this ladies, but if you don't plan it he probably won't either. Dustin plans it out sometimes, but usually I have to tell him to get me out of this little nuthouse we have created :) The sooner you realize this, the less frustrated you will be. Men are usually not planners.

A lot of marriages could be fixed by date nights. We try to go once a week, but usually it is more realistic for us to go every other week. Make it a priority before your marriage is beyond repair. Don't you want to be one of those cute little old couples holding hands? I do!

What are some of your favorite date nights?

xxoo